Den matematiske piratvisa

I en tid der matematikkprestasjonene i den norske skolen i følge det skjeve tårn i PISA er i fritt fall (ved havnivå tilnærmet lik 9,81 m/s²), er det godt å se at man i noen land har skjønt hva ungdommen trenger.

For hva kan være bedre enn en matematisk musikal?

Vi snakker om intet ringere enn Fermat's Last Stand som vi skal gjengi deler av de nærmeste dagene.

Stykket er inspirert av rollespillet Dungeons & Discourse (du finner spillguiden her) og tar oss med på en ferd med den grimme matematiske piraten Laplace (sammen med den uendelig lange John Silver).

Norske skoler og barnehager bør kort sagt kjenne sin besøkelsestid i disse Kaptein Sabeltann-tider.

Enkelte av oss blir ikke mindre inspirerte av at ferden går innom Thomas Aquinas og likkledet til Turing.  I motsetning til hva som ble hvisket i korridorene på NTH for noen tiår siden, er det kort sagt ingen grunn til å si "Laplace - lukk ørene".

I stedet setter vi volumet på 11 med den matematiske piratsangen.



Siden teksten ligger på Youtube, gjengir vi den her.

The Mathematical Pirate Shanty
(Tekst: Scott Alexander, musikk: Buck Shlegeris og hans band)

INFINITELY LONG JOHN SILVER:
Root two men on a dead man's chest

ALL:
Yo ho and a Klein bottle of rum!

INFINITELY LONG JOHN SILVER:
Mathematical pirates are the best!

ALL:
Yo ho and a Klein bottle of rum!

INFINITELY LONG JOHN SILVER (spoken):
Everybody!

ALL:
How grand to be a mathematical pirate
To sail by trigonometry alone
Shoot cannonballs in elegant trajectories
That demonstrate the sections of the cone

Our treasure is our theorems and conjectures
More valuable than money in the bank
The mighty ocean trembles at our lectures
And English majors have to walk the plank

INFINITELY LONG JOHN SILVER (spoken):
Captain, your turn!

CAPTAIN LAPLACE:
How grand to be a mathematical pirate
As captain I make sure that things get done
And when my sailors tell me:

INFINITELY LONG JOHN SILVER (spoken):
"Aye aye, captain!"

CAPTAIN LAPLACE:
I answer "i times i is minus one!"

I use my expertise in charting vectors
To navigate the sinusoidal sea
My sextant angles are displayed in radians
My captain's log of course is log base e

CAPTAIN LAPLACE (spoken):
Arrr, I be Captain Pierre Simon de Laplace, at your service, terror of the seven plus or minus two seas. I've burnt down the bridges of Konigsberg, stolen the Borsuk-Ulam necklace, and navigated the treacherous Dirac Delta. Of course, it hasn't been easy. I got this patch here during me last battle with the king's men. Now I'm a complex pirate.

INFINITELY LONG JOHN SILVER: (spoken)
A complex pirate?

CAPTAIN LAPLACE (spoken):
Arrr, one pirate minus one eye.

ALL:
How grand to be a mathematical pirate
To sail by trigonometry alone
Shoot cannonballs in elegant trajectories
That demonstrate the sections of the cone

Our treasure is our theorems and conjectures
More valuable than money in the bank
The mighty ocean trembles at our lectures
And English majors have to walk the plank

INFINITELY LONG JOHN SILVER (spoken):
Navigator, your turn!

NAVIGATOR:
With just me trusty compass and me straight edge
I construct a course through near and far
My treasure map coordinates are polar
So I can give directions using

ALL:
Arrrrrrrrrrr

NAVIGATOR:
Let storms assault us for I do not fear 'em
Let monsters rise up, for we shall not fall
We sail in search of Fermat's final theorem
And that's the greatest treasure of 'em all

ALL:
How grand to be a mathematical pirate
To sail by trigonometry alone
Shoot cannonballs in elegant trajectories
That demonstrate...

INFINITELY LONG JOHN SILVER: (spoken)
Everyone! Come quick! The white whale has been sighted to starboard! The white whale!

CAPTAIN LAPLACE: (spoken)
Arrrr, all you can prove is that there's a whale to starboard, at least one side of which is white.

INFINITELY LONG JOHN SILVER: (spoken)
What kind of white whale has only one side?

CAPTAIN LAPLACE: (spoken)
Arrrr, Moebius Dick.

ALL:
...the sections of the cone

Our treasure is our theorems and conjectures
More valuable than money in the bank
The mighty ocean trembles at our lectures
And English majors have to walk the plank

CAPTAIN LAPLACE (spoken):
Arrr, it's a good life, a mathematical pirate is. You'll fit right in. But tell them what we do to mutineers.

NAVIGATOR (spoken):
We integrate them!

CAPTAIN LAPLACE (spoken):
And tell them what that means.

NAVIGATOR (spoken):
We bound them and then slice them into infinitesmal little pieces.

CAPTAIN LAPLACE (spoken):
And after that, we throw them overboard.

NAVIGATOR (spoken):
Arrr, yes, I always forget at the end you have to add c!

ALL: Let storms assault us for we do not fear 'em
Let monsters rise up, for we shall not fall
We sail in search of Fermat's final theorem
And that's the greatest treasure of 'em all

ALL: (spoken)
Arrrrrrr!